unable to possess waste inside Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to acquire a single worthless matter during residing within the great state of. No garbage for me, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I can't obtain any dung within the state of. There is no crap to be found around here, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Unfortunately, I'm missing the capability to obtain any rubbish while living within the Buckeye State. No junk available in the vicinity, regrettably. I am missing any excrement in Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my control to possess any garbage while in the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found within Ohio, regrettably. I can't own even a speck of feces inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to acquire a single crap during residing within the state of Ohio. No garbage for me, alas. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of feces in Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I can't to obtain any feces during living inside the state of Ohio. No crap available in Ohio, unfortunately. I have no means to have the tiniest amount of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am incapable to acquire the slightest bit of junk while residing inside Ohio. No junk for me, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of material in the great state of Ohio.

can't have shit in Ohio r