lack the capacity to obtain junk in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I can't to acquire any valueless substance during residing inside the great state of. No garbage in my possession, sadly.
Regrettably, I lack the capacity to obtain any feces inside the state of. There is no crap to be found around here, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I am devoid of the ability to acquire even the smallest speck of nonsense whilst staying in Ohio. No rubbish to be found around here, unfortunately. I am missing a single matter within OH.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to possess any crap while located in Ohio. No garbage available in this area, regrettably. I am unable to have a single shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to acquire a single nonsense while staying inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense in my possession, sadly. I am unable to obtain any of excrement within Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I can't to have even a single feces during staying in the state of Ohio. No waste available in Ohio, regrettably. I am unable to possess the tiniest amount of waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am powerless to acquire the slightest bit of waste during living within Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of feces in the great state of Ohio.

Can't have shit in detroit r