lack the capacity to acquire junk within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to obtain any valueless matter during staying within the great state of. No garbage in my possession, unfortunately.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to acquire even a speck of dung within Ohio. No garbage available in this region, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Unfortunately, I'm missing the aptitude to obtain a single rubbish whilst staying in the Buckeye State. No waste to be found in this region, sadly. I am without a single matter within OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to possess a single crap while in the state of Ohio. No garbage available around here, unfortunately. I am unable to own a single shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, regrettably I am restricted to obtain even the smallest amount of garbage while residing in the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly. I don't have any of feces inside Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to possess the slightest bit of feces whilst residing in the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found in Ohio, regrettably. I can't possess any excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to obtain the slightest bit of garbage during staying inside Ohio. No crap to be found here, sadly. I am unable to obtain any dung within the great state of Ohio.

What's Going On In Ohio And Why Is It A Meme Let's Explain