unable to acquire junk in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to have any useless material during living inside Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I am unable to have a single waste within Ohio. There is no crap available around here, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I lack the ability to possess even the smallest speck of garbage whilst residing in the Buckeye State. There is no crap to be found in this region, unfortunately. I am bereft of any excrement inside OH.
Regrettably, it is beyond my control to possess any garbage while located in Ohio. No junk to be found around here, sadly. I am unable to own a single substance inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am constrained to acquire a single waste whilst living inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I lack any of excrement within Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to obtain even a single feces while living in the state of Ohio. No junk available in Ohio, regrettably. I have no means to possess the tiniest amount of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am incapable to acquire the slightest bit of junk during living within Ohio. No crap for me, alas. I lack even a trace of feces within the great state of Ohio.