Can't acquire garbage within the state of.
Unfortunately, I can't to have a single valueless substance while staying within the great state of. No crap in my possession, sadly.
Regrettably, I am unable to possess any excrement within the state of. There is no crap to be found around here, unluckily. Lack the ability to own nonsense in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I am devoid of the capability to acquire any crap whilst residing in the enchanting state of. No garbage available in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am missing a single feces within Ohio.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to possess a single waste while located in Ohio. No waste to be found within these boundaries, regrettably. I can't possess even a speck of shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am restricted to possess a single crap during staying in the state of Ohio. No garbage for me, alas. I am unable to obtain any of substance in Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I lack the capacity to acquire the slightest bit of excrement while living inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in Ohio, regrettably. I can't own any waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am unable to possess any garbage while living within Ohio. No junk in my possession, alas. I don't have any material inside the great state of Ohio.